The Suite Life of Darkseid
by Lord Splattergore
Summary: Darkseid now has the Anti-Life Equation and a new apprentice in Lex Luthor. How will the Martin brothers and London Tipton survive the imminent brutality?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they are property of Disney and DC Universe. This is strictly non-profit and recreational. Now on with the show...

**Chapter One**

Several years have passed since graduating Seven Seas Highschool. In those short, yet seemingly forever years, a lot has changed for the aspiring Harvard undergrad and entrepreneur, Cody Martin. Despite the fact that business was good, and he was passing his classes like a breeze, all was not well in the world.

A few weeks ago, Bailey decided to end their relationship. It has been turbulent, yet passionate, for the past couple years. However, the romance has faded and they were damn near sick of each other.

Even though Cody knew it was for the better, he felt empty on the inside.

It was a Friday night. Normally he'd go out to a local pub to drink with his schoolmates, however he felt like sulking and drinking alone. Zack was lecturing him over the phone to get on with life, however Cody was somewhat tipsy as he was on his sixth shot of Captain Morgan.

"Yeah man, you're right. I need to forget about her."

"Not the first time I've heard it though," Zack grilled him on the other end, "you'll be cryin' again tomorrow night like a fuckin' baby."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Anyhow, London's supposed to be visiting you tomorrow, right?"

"I guess so."

"Well, have fun and try not to reflect on Bailey too much. Wish I could be there myself, but you know how the Hollywood lifestyle is."

"True enough."

"Anyhow, I gotta get back to work. And you need some sleep. Later, bro."

"Later."

After setting down the phone, Cody downed another shot of the spiced rum.

Damn, he thought to himself, this is gonna give me some bad acidic reflux.

He tried to sleep sitting up, although a knock on the door interrupted him.

Cody check the time on his Droid. "Past 3:00 AM already? Christ."

He slowly got up, trying hard not to lose his balance. The young prodigy slowly opened the door and took note of his visitor.

Holy shit, Cody pondered internally, I remember her being beautiful, but now she looks like a damn goddess!

"Cody?" A high pitched squeal called out to him.

"Christ London, you're here early."

The lady exhaled harshly. "Gee, is that anyway to treat an old friend?"

"Sorry about that. I am glad to have you here."

He stepped aside so she could come in. Cody took note of the woman's luggage.

"Whoa, you plan on staying here?"

London assured him, "I'll take the couch, unless you think I should stay elsewhere..."

"No-no, you can stay here, I don't mind. But I'll take the couch."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"So where's you room mate?"

"On vacation, won't be back for a week."

"Ooh, so I have little Cody all to myself."

He was taken aback by that statement. "O... kay." The young man opened a small refrigerator and grabbed a Guinness. "Want one?"

"Sure." London hummed. "Mmm, look at you, all grown up, drinking such manly things."

Not sure if he was being patronized or complimented, he shifted the conversation elsewhere. "So how's your boyfriend?"

London's expression became crestfallen as she took a seat on the sofa. "I'm not really good with the whole relationship thing. Usually its just a fling here or there."

Cody's expression was that of bewilder.

London slapped her forehead. "Oh God, I probably shouldn't have said that. You probably think I'm a sl..."

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, London Tipton," the young man sternly interrupted.

!#$%

In the city of Metropolis, a older man was being haunted by a vision of his past.

Two men were holding an ethereal ball of light.

One man was bald and wearing a tuxedo.

The other man appeared to be more of a demon, wearing space age armor, not to mention his excessive muscle mass and rock-like skin. However, most omnimous were his eyes, which glowed with a furious blood-red crimson.

Everything around those crimson eyes faded to black.

"I am coming back for you, Kal-El!"

The well-muscled man shot up out of bed. He grimly whispered, "Darkseid."

He knew the most evil being in existence, as well as his vehement most adversary, have gotten a hold of the Anti-Life Equation. While Kal-El or none of the Justice League knew how this power could be used and what it was capable of, they knew it would bring nothing good and eventually they would have to face the Dreadlord of planet Apocalypse in a battle far greater than anything to come before it.

!#$%

Back in Cody's dorm, the young man was consoling the rich lady.

"I'm sorry," London squeaked, "I'm not feeling myself."

"You've changed, somehow," the scholarly man pointed out.

"You think?"

He nodded. "Mmm hmm. I don't remember you ever being so... Humble."

London was briefly taken aback. "Hmm, yay me, I guess."

Cody's jaw dropped witnessing the distinct unenthusiasm of London's _yay me_. He thought, it's apparent that she's seen better days.

"That didn't come out right," the young man tried to assure her. "What I meant..."

"It's okay," London interrupted, "I was always quite the bitch to everyone, back then."

Cody half lied. "No..."

The lady smiled. "You're still such a gentlemen after all these years, I'm glad. If only my previous, well, you know, were as courteous as you..."

He blushed.

London then started to drink and finished her first ale in no time flat. "Got any more?"

"Sure." He finished his and proceeded to get more of the bitter Irish beverage out of the fridge.

"Cheers," London spoke while she raised her bottle.

He returned in kind and his bottle neck tapped hers after he sat down again. "Cheers."

They finished their Guinness within seconds.

"Before the alcohol kicks in, there's something I need to say," London said while looking away from him.

"What's that?"

"To be blunt, I was hoping we could have sex."

Cody regarded the young woman with intensity, starting at her black platform stilettos which encased her delicate feet, up to her navy blue skinny jeans which fitted like an additional layer of skin on her toned calves, wide hips and bubbly rear end. His eyes slowly trailed up her exposed slender midriff, taking note of her shimmering caramel coated skin. Next was her tiny black tank top, which exposed generous cleavage, and the young man noticed how firm and round her orbs of flesh were. His gaze ascended to her slender neckline before her face... Her completely angelic face. That small nose, those full lips, those deep chocolate brown eyes, surrounded by the silkiest dark brown hair.

"If that's what you want," Cody replied to her.

London straddled him and seductively cooed, "It's what I need." She wasted no time taking off her top, revealing her silk red bra. Seeing her younger friend eye her body with desire made her feel a sense of joy.

"God, you're gorgeous," the once boy, now man stated to her nonchalantly.

She smiled the most genuine smile in a long time hearing his words, although she didn't absorb the moment for long before beginning to suck on the man's neck.

Cody noted the difference between her and Bailey's experience. Not that he didn't enjoy it with Bailey, but he could tell London would be much better performing.

While the heiress was fiddling with his fly, he decided to return the favor. She stood up and kicked her high heels off to get her pants all the way removed. He was in complete awe when he saw her in that red v-string thong. "God damn."

The hotel princess returned to straddling him right before forcing her tongue into his mouth. The scholar moaned over her forcefulness. He tried to return the favor, however he knew he couldn't match her.

And the rest was utter celestial bliss.

!#$%

In the darkness of space, a large warship raced towards the Earth at several fold the speed of light, carrying two of the most vile cretins to ever exist.

"I can't thank you enough, Darkseid," a bald human stated as he looked out the window of the bridge, "now that I rejoined with Braniac, we should be able to defeat the Justice League with relative ease."

Darkseid sat at a large throne in the center. "I could very well defeat them myself, Luthor, however I am grateful you found the Anti-Life equation for me, therefore I shall spare you the fate of Earth and New Genesis. However, Kal-El must not be killed. He must eternally suffer after witnessing all that is dear to him being erased from existence!"

Lex Luthor grinned. "Indeed."

(End chapter one)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters property of Disney and DC Universe. Non-profit, strictly recreational.

**Chapter Two**

Cody Martin couldn't recall the last time he slept so well. The whole night, his vision was graced by images of London Tipton and her passionate fire. When he awoke, he was certain it had to be a dream. He felt solemn at first, but when he felt that ethereal warmth clinging to his side, he looked to see his dreamed goddess was in fact reality.

After the fact, he noticed a certain discomfort in his groin area, a result of all the blood rushing to that particular spot.

"Mmm, someone's happy to see me," London chippered with her eyes closed.

The scholar nudged his precious heiress. "Not funny, wake up."

"I am awake, Little Cody," London assured him, opening her eyes and regarding the man before her.

"Little Cody? Really?"

The rich lady giggled. "Big Cody didn't complain about his pet name..."

"Big Cody?"

The spoiled princess gave a condescending facial expression. "Your penis, duh!"

"Wait, how is it that I'm Little Cody, and my genitalia is referred to as Big Cody?"

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?"

Cody thought, I best not question her logic. He then lied, "Nope, it makes perfect sense now."

"Ah, yay you," the lady hotel errant exclaimed.

"So what now?" Cody inquired.

"I'm hungry!"

After they finished getting dressed so they could go dine out, Cody received a phone call.

"Hey Zack..."

On the other end of the phone, the first born twin sounded serious. "Dude, turn on the news. It's been a shit storm for the past few hours."

Zack flipped on to CNN, which was replaying a video sent to them.

"Greetings again, people of Earth. I am Darkseid, ruler of Apocalypse. I have returned once again to enslave your world. You have until tomorrow, 9 AM Eastern Time, to decide whether to submit to my rule or forever be vaporized from the cosmos. I am now in possession of the Anti-Life Equation, thus the Justice League will not be able to save you this time. May God have mercy on your souls," Darkseid mocked, "Oh wait, I am God!"

London and Cody said in unison, "Oh shit."

!#$%

In the Justice League's orbital station, a plan to foil Darkseid's plans was being formulated. While Batman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter and Flash were confident of victory, Kal-El knew that Darkseid wouldn't be their sole contender. He knew Lex Luthor probably was able to use the Anti-Life Equation to restore his fusion with Braniac, and likely saw fit to side with the New God Dreadlord. However, despite the threat that a upgraded Luther posed, Darkseid was still the most powerful, and by far the most evil, being in the entire universe. However, now with a competent apprentice and a weapon that can bend reality to his will, the one and only Superman knew the odds were stacked heavily against them.

Kal-El stood up at the conference table. "That won't work. Luther is likely with him, and probably used the Anti-Life Equation to restore the power he had when merged with Braniac."

Bruce Wayne argued, "I can't see that happening. The chance of mutiny would be high..."

However, Supes had a better understanding of the situation. "Maybe, but even with Braniac's power, he is no match for Darkseid."

The others could not speak from experience. Kal-El is the only one amongst them capable of holding his own against either the genocidal A.I. or the New God formerly known as Uxas, however only the latter actually exceeded him. They have had countless battles and while some were won in Superman's favor, it was Darkseid that usually did the owning, and did so with relative ease.

Supes knew that even without the Anti-Life Equation, he was lucky that Darkseid didn't kill him in their previous encounters. However, now that he does have the ultimate weapon, there was no hope.

"I am quitting the Justice League," Kal-El told his peers, much to their shock, "Try as we might, this time there will be no victory for us."

With the exception of Batman, their jaws dropped as Supes calmly made his way out of the meeting room.

Bruce Wayne's classic wit cut in, "I think he's lost his mojo, what about you guys?"

The others glared maliciously at him for his carefree nature.

!#$%

9:00 AM Eastern Time had at last come, and just as before, the world governments decided they would fight against the otherworldly invaders. The flagship of Apocalypse hovered no more than five miles above Washington DC.

In the ship hanger, the evil overlords stood in front of a massive army of little men, likely in the tens of millions, with emerald and gold plated armor with odd goggles of the same color.

"Looks the Earth has decided to fight," Luthor stated with sarcasm, "who would have figured?"

Darkseid grinned malevolently. "Very well, I was hoping for nothing less." He then addressed his foot soldiers, "Go forth my Parademons, kill as many of the homo sapient filth as you see fit!"

The wiry Parademons hissed in glee as they anticipated the glorious battle ahead.

(End chapter two)


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Once again, the begotten son of Jupiter was having nightmares of being slain by the bloodhounds that were the twelve Dii Consentes and their minions. In his visions of the future he would be brutally tortured for aeons before finally being allowed to be erased from existence.

Some creeping footsteps awoke him from his recurring nightmares. Due to his killer instinct being half man, half god, he was ready to pounce the potential threat, but he sighed in relief seeing it was his new comrade in arms... not that he trusted him either, of course.

"Demiurge."

"Hercules," the lesser god stated, "Saturn has given us orders to investigate the mortal realm. He senses there is a god from a rival Pantheon with power on par with the Archaic Three. A pure evil deity who will devour the entire universe under his infinite wrath."

Hercules wasn't one to believe. "That can't be so..."

"But it is so, and we are investigate the severity of the threat. If worse comes to worse, we may have to have to work with the Dii Consentes to battle them."

Hercules growled. "Never. I'd rather join forces with the other gods."

"We very well could. Saturn will weigh our options once we can deliver some substantial intelligence on Darkseid and his capabilities."

"Darkseid?"

"That's the name of god from the opposing Pantheon. Either way, a great war is brewing."

((( )))

Back in the mortal realm, Cody was preparing fro the crisis at hand.

"It's a good thing I keep a stockpile in my secret lab."

"Secret lab?" London inquired.

"Yeah, a lab I created underground, in case of the zombie apocalypse or something."

"You're so silly..."

"Or perhaps not, given current circumstances."

He led her to his closet. Hidden behind on of the shoe shelves was a key card reader. "Going down."

London arched her eyebrows at at the fact that Cody's closet was the entrance to a secret lab. "Anymore surprises?"

He threw a cocky grin. "Perhaps."

Once the elevator made its descent, London was in awe as she saw an Apache helicopter and endless shelves of guns and ammo gracing the humongous metal corridor

"Where did you get all the funding for this?" A flabbergasted London inquired.

"Several of my classmates were pretty high up in the illegal drug and arms trade, so they hooked me up."

London looked disgusted. "You used crime syndicate money for this?!"

"It's for a good cause," he tried to assure her, "We're going to save the world, London."

She took a deep breath. "Fine. But after this, I may have to reassess where we stand. I love you, Cody, but I'm not ready to be involved with someone who hangs with mass murderers."

"I'm sorry to disappoint," a crestfallen Cody stated with immense depression in his voice.

London placed a hand on his shoulder. "You had reasons at least, not the best perhaps, but we're going to save the world. Right?"

The young man weakly smiled. "Yeah."

"So what's the plan?" The billionaire heiress inquired.

The up and coming scientist recounted his assessment. "Well, parademons aren't zombies, but they're just as dumb. They are durable though, so small arms fire won't work. He grabbed a couple AK47s from his armory and handed them to her. "Careful, these are loaded with incendiary rounds."

"Meaning?"

The young man stated matter of factly, "They go _boom_ when they make contact with the target."

"I see."

He continued going over the inventory. "I also have a few semi auto Remington M11-87s, several hundred 12-gauge buckshot shells and 12-gauge incendiary shells. Last but not least, my baby, a Smith and Wesson .500 revolver with several hundred armor piercing rounds and incendiary rounds. We need to get it all loaded into the chopper."

"Doesn't the chopper have guns? Wouldn't be safer to attack from the air?"

"Perhaps, but those auto cannons fire a thousand rounds per minutes, meaning the ammo won't even last two minutes with constant fire. "

London look perplexed. "So we will eventually have to take the fight to the ground..."

"Yep." While London was worried, Cody was anything but. "I can't wait to use my guns in live combat!"

((( )))

Zack raced thought the heart of LA in his red C6 Corvette ZR1, gold plated Desert Eagle .50 Action Express in had. As law enforcement was overwhelmed by the influx of parademons, we wasn't worried about getting arrested and ultimately knew he had to fend for himself during this invasion. "Jesus H, when does it fucking end? Ever time I down one of these guys, three more show up in its place!"

A nearby explosion caused his car to loose traction and spin out. "The hell?"

Standing in the crater was an overtly muscular man in a small toga with short auburn hair and cerulean eyes. Several parademons attacked him, however he managed to kill them each with a single punch.

"Damn guy, who the hell are you?" Zack inquired.

"Hercules, son of Jupiter. Outcast from the realm of Olympus."

"No idea what that hell that means, but I'm glad you're on our side!"

"I can't say I'm on your side. I'm just doing some reconnaissance."

"What the fuck? Aren't you part of the Justice League?"

"Never heard of this so-called Justice League."

A few parademons snuck up on the son of the Olympus god king, but were mutilated under the sheer force of his raw muscle capacity as he could sense their presence and countered.

Zack was in awe. "Dude, where did you learn to fight like that?"

"I have been banished to the realm of the Titans, Tartarus. One is constantly under threat by demon-like entities in such a realm, hence it's necessary to fight for survival. Something you mortals just don't understand."

"Sounds like Hell," Zack affirmed.

Hercules confirmed, "Indeed."

((( )))

On the other side of the nation, London and Cody were mowing down Darkseid's foot soldiers left and right. They clawed for life as if they were under a berserker rage.

Thousands of parademon corpses where piling up around the couple as they blasted away. However, their progress was at a dead end.

"Oh no, I'm on my last magazine," London admitted.

"I got three magnum shots left!"

There were still thousand of parademons in close proximity, however, much to the couple's relief, they backed off.

"We won!" London exclaimed.

"I don't think so," Cody sensed this was a calm before the storm.

Indeed. Heavy footsteps drew near. Much to Cody and London's horror, the dreadlord himself has decided to pay them a visit.

"For mere humans, you two have put up quite the fight," Darkseid praised, "I am impressed." However, his train of thought was interrupted as he studied London's feature. He thought, _it has been centuries since I've seen such a majestic and sensual woman_. He inquired, "Tell me, young female, who are you?"

London was taken aback by the monstrous god of evil addressing her. "L-London... T-Tipton."

Darkseid grinned. "Tell me, London. How would you like the rule the universe with me, as my queen?"

"She'll do no such thing!" Cody shot off the last three rounds of his magnum pistol, however they were harmlessly deflected by his metallic skin.

The dreadlord was furious. "You dare strike me?!" He viciously backhanded the young man, snapping his neck in the process and made him skid several hundred meters across asphalt. A massive trail of blood marked his trajectory.

London screamed after seeing her lover attacked in such a manner. "CODY!"

Uxas stated matter of factly, "It would be best for you to forget him, that is not an attack any mere mortal can survive."

London fell to her knees, seemingly lifeless. She was so numb inside she couldn't bring herself to struggle as Darkseid grabbed her and hovered towards his flagship.

**End Chapter Three.**


End file.
